I haven’t done this for some time. I don’t even know when the last time I wrote something just for me was.

I am disappointed that I haven’t written a recap of 2008. My yearly reviews have always been fun to write because I get to glance over the past year and then I always have that review to look back on. Who knows? Maybe I will still write it, but I know how it goes when I plan to write something some time later. I still have an outline of Memorial Day 2007 (one of the best days I’ve ever had -- ever) on a notepad by the computer that I’ve been meaning to get to. As you can tell for some time now.

This semester at Rosemont I am enrolled in a class titled Artful Writing. So far, it’s a groovy class. The whole idea of the class is learning about writing by exposing yourself to other mediums (i.e., drawing, music, movement, etc.) I was enrolled in a class called Legal Issues in Book Publishing and at the last minute I decided to switch classes. I am also working on my thesis this semester and I wanted a class that was not going to be overwhelming. A class that I could manage and work on my thesis at the same time and what better than an artsy fartsy writing class. Possibly the most rewarding part of the class so far is that I am writing again and making it an important issue in my life. We have to “journal” once or twice a week about whatever topic we are discussing in class and anything that is related to our writing. In my journal this week I wrote about why I don’t write anymore and it turned up that I don’t think it is important. The only reason I am writing now is because it is a part of my class for school. And for the last year between work and school I never made it a priority to nourish that part of me that wanted to write. Before 2008, writing in my blog was my writing release because I genuinely enjoyed it, but once work started to become a larger part of my life and school became significantly more intense I let it go.

Maybe this class will reintroduce me to that part of myself that wants to write...

In any event, 2009 so far as been surprisingly animate. Every weekend since the beginning of the year has had some sort of drunken adventure attached to it. 2008 saw The 4 H Club, and everyone I know really, slow down immensely when it came to the drinking scene. I had really thought that my main party days were behind me. Apparently, not so much. I don’t know why we’ve been so party-centric lately, but I am certainly not complaining. Although, it is starting to get in the way of more important things...

I am a month behind on my thesis. This is probably an exaggeration because if I worked on it for a week straight when I came home from work I could probably get relatively caught up. It’s very difficult for me to get up the energy, after a hectic day at work (and, believe me, every single day at that branch is hectic) to illicit the motivation and mental energy involved when working on my thesis. Or anything school involved for that matter. As I go into every week, I say to myself, “This will be the week that I get going. This will be the week I figure it out.” The week flies by and diddly squat.

Situations like this past Saturday night arise. I wake up late on Saturday and feel that, finally, after the week is over, I can have a day, one day, where I am devoid of responsibility. I can sit in my bed and be lazy, despite needing to work on homework and various other projects I have going on or want to get started. Saturday is the day I chose to take off and, despite everything I have to do, I feel that is valid.

A nagging voice inside my head screams, “Get to work, you lazy piece of shit.” but I can’t move. I lay in my bed, luxuriously reading, and thinking, “Later. I will do it later.” Then comes later and nothing.

A phone call. Lauren. And she says, “We are going out tonight. We are going to Whiskey Tango. You should come out and have fun.” And I really want to. God, I really, really want to. But that nagging voice in my head berates me because instead of being productive like I know I could be I am leaning towards going out with my friends and drinking. And, of course, the choice I make is to go out and enjoy myself.

So I go get drunk and do stupid things and have a great time. Did I make an ass out of myself on Saturday night? Probably, a little bit (or a lot), but who gives a shit? It was fun and makes a great story.

But now here I am on Sunday with nothing accomplished. Do I feel like I let off a little steam and am recharged enough to begin the work week? Yes, I do. But I am not really sure how to balance that out with what I could have accomplished if I had tried at working rather than playing.

I know that the thesis thing will all work out and I will come up with a great project -- or, if nothing else, an acceptable project. It’s such a challenge for me to balance out my time. I’m really shitty at time management when it comes to these issues. At work, I’m awesome at figuring out a time schedule. I’m not sure how to translate that personally.