JUNE 15, 2008

The subject line is the title of a song from Patty Griffin's album Impossible Dream.

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Quote of the Week:..:


An actual text message conversation between Kimmy and myself:



June 9, 2008 9:52 p.m.


Kimmy: I look like a side of bacon


Me: Then you must look pretty damn good!


Kimmy: Ooooo im burnt & crispy


Me: Hmmmm – I bet you are juicy with wet, hot grease!!


Me: OH BABY!!


Kimmy: ew…


Me: We are odd…


Kimmy: I hate us!


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Summer is an offbeat season for me.


A temporary rescue from the bitter cold isn't horrible. In fact, there are even days when I like to wear shorts and go outside and sweat a little. Summer has a way of making me feel young and hopeful and I think this may be built into everybody – wasn't summer always the season that school was out of session and kids were free to be, well, kids?


It's enjoyable to watch the nicely shaped men walk around in tank tops and I always feel hopeful that maybe one day – one day – I can do the same thing.


But then there are the days when it reaches 90+ degrees and I feel like I am going to pass out just by walking out the front door and, of course, the insane humidity from June til September means that I don't breathe during this period of time.


There is no balance for me during the summer – it's either okay or it's really, really not okay.


That's about how I feel right now.


The London situation, as always, is complicated. Everything that Kirstin and I have been told about London has been completely distorted and not correct. The previous Director of English and Publishing at Rosemont, a really wonderful woman, tried to hook us up with another university in London, Huron University. I think she wanted to build a bridge between Rosemont and Huron so as to have a marketable study abroad graduate program sort of thing when promoting the programs at Rosemont. The plan was for Kirstin and I to "attend" Huron or, basically, use their resources to find an internship and then pay Huron tuition.


I approached Rebecca, the Director, with this idea in October of 2007, so we have been working on this for over half a year.


When Rebecca presented Rosemont with this concept she was met with resistance. Rosemont was not going to give Kirstin or I the credits for our internship and was not going to aid us in any other way because they did not want to lose our tuition money. (Rosemont is in a terrible financial situation, which you can learn more about by visiting their website at: www.rosemont.edu).


Neither Kirstin or I understood this backhand from Rosemont and I was at my wits end. I wasn't willing to spend all of this money to go to London to not have it translate into credits. Rebecca said we were going to figure something out, but I was dubious. If after eight months we still we at square one then why all of a sudden would things clear up.


Things cleared up when Rebecca went away. I have nothing but respect for Rebecca, but she made the situation so much more complicated then it had to be.


I don't know exactly what but something happened, and apparently had been happening, between Rebecca and the higher-ups at Rosemont and she had decided to step down from her position as the Direction of the English and Publishing program at Rosemont. I felt like this was the end. She was the only one rooting for Kirstin and I to go to London and I thought if she wasn't involved than nothing was going to happen. Kirstin suggested meeting with the Interim Director of the program, Liz, who has an excellent reputation at Rosemont. Seeing no reason not to, we set up an appointment.


Thank God we did. Okay – are you ready for this? Rosemont has no problem with us going to London. We could go to Jibip and Rosemont wouldn't give two shits. All Kirstin and I have to do is find an internship and we can go to the moon and it wouldn't matter. Yes, that's right. All the two of us have to do is find an internship and we can go. Rosemont was not supporting us because they did not understand why we had to pay tuition to another school when Rosemont would be willing to take the credits if we found the internship on our own.


The reason this pisses me off so much is because had Kirstin and I been told this in say December of last year we would have our internship secured and everything would be taken care of, but now, in mid-June, we have to find an internship (not the easiest thing to do) and set everything up for the fall in three months. This may or may not happen. If worse comes to worse, I think we may have to put it off til spring although both of us are still working for fall.


So that's the London situation to date. We're looking for internships and hoping for the best. Honestly, now that I know the internship can be anywhere, I've also started looking into other countries. Originally, I wanted to study abroad in Australia…


Send successful energy my way. I need it!


Aside from that, I am completely burnt out. Between work and school I don't know which is more tiring. I think it's just the combo of the two, actually. Thankfully, this is the last week of Summer I and Summer II doesn't start until July 7 so I do have a nice two week vacation from school. Also, Summer II I am taking an online class as well so I will not need to travel to Rosemont twice a week, which is really the most exhausting part. I can't tell you how straining it is to get home at 11 o'clock at night and then have to wake up at 6 to go to work. I just am…done. I can't do it anymore. I just keep telling myself to get through this week and I'll have a little reprieve.


On a more positive, relaxing note, I do have vacation coming up the first week in July. I know that I am going to see Leslie in Lancaster for two days, probably that weekend, and I am also going to D.C. to visit my Grandmom. In fact, while in D.C. my Aunt Kimmie's awesome friend, Cindy, is going to be visiting at the same time so there will definitely be a night when Kimmie, Cindy and I go out for drinks – hooray!! They both are out of their minds and not afraid to get drunk. I am soooooooo looking forward to it!


My birthday is coming up as well and I haven't made any plans yet. I was going to make another web-site like I did last year and so I decided to visit the site that I made last year for ideas (it's a pretty rad site – I will probably keep the template). The time before my birthday last year was incredible and I forgot how excited I was about my life until I visited the site. Last year, around this time, I was getting ready to start Rosemont and Beneficial and everything was getting set up for this new life that I lead now. It's funny because I now have all of these things in my life that I wanted – grad school, a full-time job, responsibility – and I feel like now it's wearing me out. I need to take a break, but it's just not possible. True, I do have vacation from both work and school coming up and I hope after that time I feel energized enough to keep working towards the new goals that I have made for myself.


I think goals and dreams are important. Even if I don't meet them, I am proud of myself for working towards them at all.